Have you had a chance to travel with friends in a travel van? While travelling, the mood is usually ecstatic and the music is always upbeat. But, what if the music played (though the best) is constantly of the same beat and is broken in abrupt places? How would it be different if the DJ seamlessly transitioned between tracks by picking a similar beat or drip-feeding one track onto another and fading the other one out, like a smooth single song? Or how about if the movie played is just a sequence of different scenes abruptly cut at many places? The result would be a complete loss of interest generated due to a lack of elegant sequencing.
Similarly, we have earlier seen that our travel experiences must be shared using implicit sensory images and linking words. Even then, though those carefully chosen sensory images cater to all five senses, there is still one issue left. Let’s see a typical example where one describes a deserted street at night from the perspective of a solitary walker to understand what that issue is.
“The dark desolate street rested in silence as the starry black sky loomed over the vacant surroundings. Amongst the closed shops, there was a lamppost. It was as solitary as every other inert thing on that street. The road stretched ahead, winding its way. Mewing cats and barking dogs walked along the path to drink water from the portholes that dotted the unkempt road…”
This is a typical situation when images are simply thrown at the reader without effective transition in a descriptive essay. The description becomes a mere list of sensory images of the situation. The writer chucks everything at the reader with the hope that readers will be creeped out by the description of the deserted street. Here, the issue is that there is no sequencing – no anchor and the reader’s mind is at a loss. Now, this isn't a major problem, if we effectively transition between the items. Yet, many don't. So, how do we transition smoothly? We need to break down the original description.
- Moonlight stared down at the street.
- The lamppost stood alone.
- Stray cats and dogs walking down the street filled with potholes.
After that, we need to look at how we could transition from the moonlight to the lamppost, and then from the lamppost to the stray animals on the street.
Moonlight stared down at the street. It was looking, gazing, focusing on one thing: a solitary lamppost amid deserted shops that stood quietly beside the street.The rest of the world was shrouded under a blanket of oozing and spreading ink.
As opposed to the pitch black darkness, the lone streetlight with its weak light, fought to do its duty: shed some rays of light at the lonely passerby. Soft rays of light sheepishly slithered away from the post to the winding road, defeated.
Slipping through the gravel and potholes, the rays extended their arms until they hit some moving creatures: stray animals that claimed the road to be their own. Scattered throughout the road were water-laden potholes that shimmered in the glow of the yellow street lamps. It made the animals partially visible, with an eerie glow. Consequently, distorted shadows danced through the length of the road and crossed the path of the solitary walker.
Did you note how the connection is made with sequenced vivid descriptions that are added to the base points that we stripped from the example?
Additionally, sprinkle a note of the mood of the passerby: These distorted shadows suggested disturbing thoughts to the man’s mind. With his eyes fixed on the bend on the road to cross the street, the passerby slowly quickened his pace, holding his breath, not wanting to disturb the nightlife on this deserted street. He just had one prayer on his lips: to reach home in one piece.
Did you see that by describing how the character reacts to his/her surroundings, the mood is created and the reader will feel it too? Additionally, since the traveller's perspective is what unites the entire picture into a harmonious whole, doing so helps to forge a connection between everything they see. Keep in mind that, you don't have the luxury of deploying jump scares as a scriptwriter does in movies. As a writer, you need to smoothly engage the reader’s senses and imagination to instil the desired mood.
If you would only remember one thing from this article, make it the fact that sequencing is what gives life to the framework of sensory images. Flesh the framework with appropriate gap fillers and this will make your travelogue/description pop in a way that might surprise even you.