Part 4: A Children’s Playground
The school bells chime at the end of a lesson and announce playtime. Then, you hear squeals of laughter, at first softly emanating from the many burrows of the school building, then getting louder till they fill the atmosphere with their loud tinkling like bells on a cycle. Don’t you just love the idea of going to the playground? There is open space and lots of opportunities for amusing diversions that are just perfect for frolicking frivolously.
Why do we love a playground so much? They are everywhere: school grounds, community parks, theme parks, at special festivities. Yet, there is something about them that opens up your heart to unlimited opportunities and makes you believe you are invincible.
Imagine you had an incredible day at the playground with your best friend and wish to tell your parents about it. It was more than fun filled. It was roaring. You had a ball! You try to express how ecstatic you were. You try to tell them how riding the swing made you feel. Most of the time, a description would go thus:
My best friend pushed me so high on the swing that I felt like a plane taking off from the runway. It was amazing how my heart felt as I rode upwards and then backwards at the same improbable speed. Do you know that your stomach feels empty as you come down towards the ground? I went so high up that while coming down for a moment, I felt like I was going to feel sick. It made me dizzy but in a good way.
What about describing what you did at an inflatable bouncy castle? Your friends, and no doubt you too, must have come up with the most outrageous things to do there which would otherwise be very dangerous on the hard ground. This was the chance to show off the gymnastic skills that you have been secretly harbouring in your heart:
The airbags were so soft and firm; at the same time, it was really fun to be jumping on them without any fear. It would hold you and wrap around you so that you didn’t get hurt no matter how you fell. My friend and I decided to attempt the backflip, and even though I fell on my back, I was fine.
These are quite good ways of writing about how the experiences were for you. You have not only described what you did but also how you felt. So, sensory details have been included. You are trying to rope them into the experience by asking questions. There are some accurate descriptions of the movements too. You have also rightly added the tireless tumbles your tummy took.
But how about going a step further to make your essay more exciting and vivid?
I have never gone higher on any swing before! At first, when my friend pushed me, the swing began to wobble unsteadily and I thought I was going to fall. But I held on until my knuckles became white. Slowly and steadily, the to and fro of the movement began to build. At each rise and fall, I began to go higher, till I felt like I was even above the top bar of the frame. At one point, as I plummeted backwards, I thought I was free falling with incredible speed only to be raised up higher again. Then I could feel my chest cavity become empty and my heart jump to my throat as I hurtled towards the ground. But the seat of the swing then took me on another journey skyrocketing, and I let myself go this time, leaving all my troubles behind. I was up in the air, and I never wanted to come back down.
Then, you go on to describe the inflatable castle:
The inflatable bouncy castle is literally the best thing in the world. Did you know that the harder you fall, the higher your next jump is? The air inside the bags exaggerates your movement tossing you upwards with nothing to hold on to. At first, you feel like a dingy on turbulent waters, but if you can control it, you can have the best time of your life. My best friend challenged me on how creatively we could make the jumps. I accepted! Now was the time to do those incredulously impossible moves which would otherwise be deemed dangerously daring. I cannot begin to tell you the ideas that popped into my head. I fell on my face but got back right up; I landed on my bottom, but there were no bruises; I even attempted a somersault and successfully docked on my feet. My friend was having a much harder time, so to rub salt in his wound, I even curtsied to him like an ice skater after completing a double spin.
Do you see how much more realistic the descriptions are? The various feelings your head goes through, the sensations your body experiences, the use of the right word (at the right places).
Just like a sheet of drawing is considered good if it resembles the real thing it was imitating, a piece of writing is considered realistic if it contains an accurate depiction of the actual event. So, the next time you want your audience to feel exactly how you felt, say it to them this way.